Caught Off Guard

I have chronic illnesses. Where have I been that this never really occurred to me? I know what my diagnoses are, and I understand that things like a Chiari malformation will never be cured, only treated. But what did I think would happen with everything else? How could I have missed this? Am I in denial or just totally oblivious? I honestly don’t know the answer. 

I recently shared someone’s post on Instagram that said “Don’t be afraid to share your story. It could be the key that unlocks someone else’s prison.” (@chronicloveclub)  When I read it, it spoke to me because that’s why I started my blog. I was hoping that sharing my personal stories would help other moms that found themselves in similar situations. But now I understand, all of this has unlocked my prison. 

I’ve spent a lot of time lately reading other people’s stories about their illnesses and what their journey has been like. We suffer the same pains and have the same struggles. Their tale of woe just to get a diagnosis are all too familiar. Then I realized, oh my gosh, this is me! I have a chronic illness, I have more than one chronic illness! I may have good days or weeks, but there is no light at the end of the tunnel. These will always be present and will pull the rug out from underneath me just when I think I’m doing well. I’ve never thought of myself as having a chronic illness before, but that’s exactly what I have and now I have to come to terms with that realization. This journey, albeit short, has been eye-opening for me. 

I am so thankful to all of you brave people that have opened up about your life and put it out there for all to see. I want you to know that you’ve helped me, and I’m sure there are many other people out there just like me that have gained something from your stories. Now I know I need to approach things differently, and perhaps formulate a plan, instead of sitting back and waiting to feel better. You have helped me see what I’m up against and the strength it’s going to take to make it through each day.